Fat is Beautiful

I'm fat. Overweight. Large. Big boned. Chunky. There are so many euphemisms for this... condition...is that what this is? A condition? I've spent a good amount of my life hating my body. Others have expressed that hatred, dislike, or discomfort to me too. People have said, "Just eat less." It's been suggested to me to attend a diet meeting, or read a book on this diet or that. All of these "helpful" suggestions have come to me uninvited. I've tried diets...lots of them. I've hidden my body. I've felt shame about my body. I've skipped out on things because I felt like I was too big to participate. For me, taking part in these diets always came because someone else thought I should. Change came from fear and shame.

This weekend, I turned 45. In reflecting upon this past year, I spent much of my 44th year working on loving myself...just as I am. Before I do anything else, I must love myself. I did lots of writing, reading, and reflecting. I noticed something. I started to fall in "like" with myself (not quite love, yet). My inner voice became more forgiving and shared nurturing and comforting words instead of blaming and shaming. I found myself braver than I'd been in a long time. I went swimming...in a bathing suit...and I loved it. When I looked at myself in a mirror, I noticed the beauty instead of the flaws.

I read Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls by Jes Baker and it made quite an impression! I read it digitally so no one would see the title and then I was at a conference where Penny Kittle was asking what everyone was reading. I scrunched down in my seat for a moment until she mentioned she was reading Shrill by Lindy West. I decided to share what I was reading with the group. Bravely, I raised my hand and told the whole room about the book I was reading. I felt empowered.

Being fat is misunderstood. For so many, it's still an accepted way to judge others. People hide behind the message of health and continue to judge. They say:

Being fat means I'm not as pretty.

Being fat means I'm not worthy of love.

Being fat means I'm invisible.

Being fat means I'm lazy.

Being fat means I lack self-control or self-discipline.

Being fat means I don't love God enough because I am not protecting my body.

ENOUGH. I'm done. Here's what I say...

Don't tell me I'm not fat. Being fat isn't bad.

Don't tell me I look good because it looks like I've lost weight. I look good because I look good. Words matter.

YOU do not get to call me names.

YOU do not get to judge me.

YOU do not get to shame me.
YOU do not get to tell me how to fix myself.

I am worthy of love.

I am pretty.

I matter.

I am loved by God, just as I am.

You don't know my story. Ask me. Listen. Look beyond and get to know me.

This week, I had to sit and listen to a speaker say that being fat means the person has "no self-control" and "no self-discipline". It was disguised as help. That doesn't help. I need to love myself. We all need to love ourselves. Judgment doesn't help. As soon as I heard those words, I tuned out. I heard nothing that followed that. I need to protect myself. Comparison is toxic and sends me down a dangerous path.

Let's all work on loving ourselves...just as we are. Let's offer help...only when asked. Let's see the beauty in people of all sizes. Let's work on listening to everyone's story.

I'm fat but I'm so much more!

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